Peach the Hero, or, How Mario Didn't Get Any Cake
by EuphrosyneUnlimited
Summary: Mario has been captured, and someone new must take up the position... but just WHAT is Bowser doing? Mario/Bowser
1. World 1

**World 1**

The hero dismounted the tame Yoshi, staring carefully up at the tall castle. Iggy Koopa lived in there. The first of Bowser's ugly children. The door opened. Time to face the castle.

The hero jumped quickly through the first room, climbing on the fence while dodging the koopa minions who had also latched onto it. The mid-point tape fell quickly. In the next room, the hero dodged the giant presses, jumping over pits and dodging the advancing wall on the left side of the room. The large, red boss door loomed before the hero, who wasted no time entering.

Inside, on a tilting platform surrounded by lava, stood Iggy Koopa. He took one look at the hero and his jaw dropped. That split second of delay was all it took for the hero to launch a series of jump attacks, forcing him off the platform.

There was a single room beyond Iggy's room, with a chair, a table, and a Nintendo DS. Toad sat there, playing video games to pass the time. When he saw the door open, though, he stood up."Thank you, Mario," he said, "but our princess is in another— _Princess Peach__?__!__?__!__?__!_"  
>Princess Peach, who had made her way through Iggy's Castle, smiled at Toad. "It's all right, Toad," she said. "We decided to try switching places this time around." She took Toad by the hand. "Come on. Let's get out of here before the explosives go off."<p>

**Meanwhile, in Bowser's Castle...**

Bowser regarded his new captive with a toothy grin. "Gwar har har har!" he said. "How does it feel to be the one imprisoned for a change, waiting for your lady love to come and save you?"  
>Mario, who was immobilized with quite a lot of rope, glared at Bowser. "You'll-a never defeat the both of us!"<br>"Gwa ha ha ha ha!" Bowser chortled. "Perhaps. But enough of that... let it not be said that I was a bad host." With one clawed hand, he swept a curtain back, revealing a table full of food. "Would you like a meal while you're waiting? We can discuss... entertainment... later."

Mario, knowing it was going to be a while, agreed.

**To Be Continued **


	2. World 4

**World 4**

Princess Peach walked into Ludwig's castle. She'd lost her current Yoshi in the incident near the end of Butter Bridge, but that wasn't too much of a problem. As she walked along the magma-colored corridor, ducking and dodging the spinning ball and chains, Peach went over the plan of the castle in her mind. First, there was the corridor with the traps... then the fence-climbing... was she missing anything?

In the next room, when the spiked ceiling started to winch down, Peach realized she had. She took off running, frantically making a dash for the reversal block up ahead. In the middle of a tricky jump, Peach's head knocked into the spikes. She immediately began to shrink.  
>Fortunately, the Princess had a Mushroom from the previous room saved as a Reserve Item. After covering the last few yards to the reverse block and hitting it, making the ceiling go back up, she took the Mushroom out and munched on it. Immediately, she felt her full height return.<p>

The rumble of the ceiling brought her back to reality. She had only a short time to sprint to the far door! There was nothing to do but run for it, jumping headlong over fiery pits and dodging monsters before the last long dash. As the ceiling clashed behind her, Peach dove like she was playing soccer again, straight through the door.  
>She landed by the climbing fences and began slowly pulling herself upwards.<br>By the time she had reached the boss door, Princess Peach was slightly out of breath. She'd forgotten the sort of exertions Mario had to go through. She made a mental note to switch to a more extensive exercise regimen.

She opened the door, and went through.

Ludwig von Koopa, on the other side, was composing when Princess Peach burst in. He knew the drill, even though seeing Princess Peach being the hero was new to him. He bowed. "Princesse!" he said, in a thick accent. "You've come just in time to hear my newest composition! I call it, 'Princess with a Fiery Spirit'."  
>And he inhaled, preparing to launch a fireball at the Princess. She shifted one hand down to the handle of her parasol, miniaturized in her inventory for easy transport. As Ludwig belched out a superheated ball of fire, she pulled the umbrella out, using it as a shield. The fireball bounced, splashing harmlessly against the ceiling.<p>

Undaunted, Ludwig retreated into his shell, spinning towards the Princess at great speed. She merely jumped over his high-speed attack, floating with her parasol as she waited for him to slow down. After a few seconds, he did, and she landed on him.  
>From there, the battle picked up speed. Ludwig tried inhaling for another fireball, but was stunned by a thwack from Peach's (now-closed) parasol. A simple jump finished him.<p>

As Ludwig slouched off to find the nearest first-aid kit, Princess Peach entered the final room of the castle. Another Toad was there. He jumped for joy.  
>"I've just finished lighting the rocket fuse, Princess!" he said. The Princess went wide-eyed with shock. He'd lit it <em>before<em> the battle? She grabbed Toad around the middle.  
>"Let's get out of here!" she said, and they both ran for it.<p>

**Meanwhile, in Bowser's Castle...**

The remains of the dinner lay on the table; a large ham had been tonight's meal for Bowser, and a delicate mushroom pasta for Mario. Empty wine glasses lay at both plates, and the ropes that had tied Mario lay discarded in a corner.  
>"I have always designed my castle for two purposes," said Bowser in his low voice as he showed Mario around. "An uncompromising, tough image on the outside... but at the heart, unparalleled luxury." He opened several doors at the end of a hall, showing the castle bedrooms.<br>Plush, rocky gray velvet and silk defined the furnishings in Bowser's bedroom, and the bed (heated by a portable lava pool) gave the room a warm ambiance. By contrast, the room the Princess used when she had to stay overnight (which usually meant Mario was stuck on a tricky level) was furnished in all colors and shades of pink; an open closet door revealed a number of Peach's spare dresses, looking to the uninformed all exactly alike.

Bowser opened another door, showing a room wallpapered in red and green. "When I heard you wanted to switch roles, I had this made up. You may stay as long as you like." The room was a duplicate of the brothers' room back home, down to the bunk bed. Mario thanked Bowser with a nod of his head.  
>"But, enough of décor," Bowser said, putting one arm around Mario's shoulders. "It's nearly dusk. I often see the sun set on the roof of the castle."<br>Bowser walked with Mario, to an elevator cut into the solid rock of the castle's walls.

"Come with me," he said, "and we can see it together."


	3. Bowser's Castle

**Bowser's Castle**

Princess Peach stealthily slipped through the darkened rooms of Bowser's Castle, parasol at the ready in case Ninjis were preparing to jump at her out of the shadows. She'd snuck in through the back door of the place, tiptoeing to the accompaniment of a single spotlight. Jumping over lava pits surmounted by columns, she stomped on an opportunistic Mecha-Koopa, picking it up. Holding it in front of her like a shield, she released it into the darkness. Three 'klup' sounds told her she'd knocked out three Ninjis laying in wait. There was only a little farther to go before the final door.

As she crossed the bridge and jumped through the marker tape, Peach took an internal inventory. Parasol? Check. 1-Up mushrooms? Check. Extra Fire Flower? Check.  
>She opened the door, and began climbing up the giant staircase that cut through the heart of Bowser's Castle, going from the dungeon entrance (where she was now) to the very, very top.<p>

Upon the roof, Mario and Bowser had watched the sun set over the Mushroom Kingdom. A thousand bright stars came out, twinkling on a land (mostly) peaceful. Bowser had had his arm around Mario's shoulder for some time now; Mario, his arm around the lower part of Bowser's shell. As, far in the distance, a faint fireworks display from the Beanbean Kingdom caught the eye of the pair, Bowser found himself turning towards Mario. Mario, towards Bowser.  
>Slowly, the pair approached one another, gazing into each other's eyes.<p>

Then, Mario and Bowser kissed, locked in a friendly hug that had turned into an embrace. Mario's lips met Bowser's for what seemed one perfect, eternal second. Then, an icy "Ah-em" brought the couple looking around, startled.

Princess Peach stood there, parasol at an aggrieved angle, hands planted squarely on her hips. Bowser took one look at her, and blushed scarlet.  
>"Er... ahem, er, my sweet, I'm sorry," he said, his growly voice sounding unusually embarrassed. "I would have the Clown Car all ready, but, um..."<br>Princess Peach smiled. "It's ok," she said, in her ever-sweet voice. She moved over to Bowser, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "Let's do the final battle quickly, and then we can call it a night..."

* * *

><p>What happened thereafter is something of a mystery. It's certain that Peach and Bowser faced off in the most epic showdown ever, with dramatic thunder and vertiginous lightning, with Bowser throwing wind-up toys and fireballs, and with Peach reflecting the fireballs, dodging the Mecha-Koopas, and proceeding to kick Bowser squarely into next week. It's highly likely that, once the clamor had died down and Bowser had been fished out of the pond, all three proceeded into the castle's living quarters and shut the doors behind them.<p>

It's possible that, later that night, Peach baked a cake, and she and Bowser ate it all up. It might be true that Mario, Peach, and Bowser proceeded to swap stories, or play party games, or other things. Peach may have opened the secret compartment in the back of her closet, and brought out the dress she got when she had been possessed by the Shadow Queen. Mario _may_ have had to deal with two 'villains' at once; or, perhaps, Bowser tried his hand at being a hero.  
>One could even speculate that at the end of the night, Peach, Bowser, and Mario fell asleep together in a cuddly hug, Bowser blowing tiny jets of flame as he snored.<p>

The world will never know.  
>All we can be sure of is<br>that Princess Peach had had a great time being the Hero.

**The End**

A special thanks to everyone who's reading this. Also, thanks to Mario Party and the Super Mario Wiki. I'm going to have to write my _other _fic sometime, with Peach as the head of the Mushroom Mafia..._  
><em>


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